why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
