She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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