My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
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The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
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I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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