She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
