apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
