Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
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My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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