My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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