I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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