I wish I could punch you in the face.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
