ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
