I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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