great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
