She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
