i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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