I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
