Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
