farters have to be the big spoon...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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