my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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