I'm jealous of your bromance
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
