My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
well I can't set my house on fire every night
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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