just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
