My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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