What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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