we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
