I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
