What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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