Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
