Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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