like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
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PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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