i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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