whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
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I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
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It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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