3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
