I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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