I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
