like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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