I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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