My nipple is on Facebook.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
