Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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