We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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