when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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