HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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