walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
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I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
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the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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