well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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