Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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