I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize