so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
