woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my sisters under your porch take her home
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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