Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
