Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
