My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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