living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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