just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
