What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She's the barista slut.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
