Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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