how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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