Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize