he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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