The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
