Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
