there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
