k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
