Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
