I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
