you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
